1 year later

November 6,2017 My family walked into a room to find out the results of a four step observation/screening process that would determine if our than 5 year old member was Autistic. My husband was on the fence thinking he was stubborn and may just need stricter rules, I was sure of what they were going to tell us. And we were both nervous since no matter what the screening process determined it would change some aspect of our life. 

After a run down of the results of each screening and test they did with him and through us they BCBA said the words we have determined he is Level 2 on the spectrum. I asked for clarification as I had never heard of levels before only High functioning moderate or server. which she explained is no longer the way they diagnosis Autism. And she simplified the results to say "Little Mr" has Autism and it is Level 2 which means he needs substantial support. And she went on the explain more. I felt numb and heard only bit after she confirmed what I had know in the core of my mom gut since he was about 2 years. the only difference in what she confirmed and what I thought was I though he would be in the "high functioning" end of the spectrum but found out that despite his social aptitude he was placed in the middle(moderate) range. 

After we left Mr.Snider asked me if I was okay. to which I replied I am fine I knew it and am ready to get Little Mr. what he needs now. Which I did. I jobbed right in. I told the school at the Parent/Teacher Conference a few days later to get the ball going on services, I contacted his PCM to update his chart and I contacted EFMP and insurance. By Thanksgiving 20 days later I had either had appointments set or things where in done and in motion. Then it hit me all at once how over whelming it was that I am officially the mother of a child with autism. And that I now will have to cart him to therapies multiple time a week for multiple hours each time. Not like his friends who get to go play sports and join extra curricular activities after school. 

I luckily had friends who have kids on in various stages on the spectrum and they were wonderful the first few days after I started to freak about our new normal. And they remain wonderful and supportive. If I have a bad day they are they with a text of support if they live far away or a hug if they are closer. Even friends with kids that aren't on the spectrum have been a wonderful source of love and support over the last year.  They all have listened to me rant about how I feel they school is not doing enough for Little Mr. And they have heard my praises of his accomplishments when he masters a hard task. 

We (the Snider Trio) have found a wonderful supportive "family" in our friends. And we Thank and Love each and every one of you. 

Radical Expectance?

Over the last few months I have been diving into a lot of issues with my therapist. One of which is my problem with excepting change as it comes planned or unplanned as it may be.

She has been posing challenges and giving me “homework” in hopes to help me find my way to expectance. One of which is for me to practice Radical Expectance for one week. Which is a way to say what happens happens, I am to try and not control every moment of my every day. I have to allow for failure and the unexpected to happen. And remember that it is as it should be if things don’t go according to plan.

This is going to be hard for me, mostly because I have cultivated a persona that keeps me “safe” from the unexpected and I live in my “safe/controlled” world because of the feels of not having these things when I was with my ex 9 years ago.

Have you ever felt like your world was spinning out of control and you needed a safe place even if it were just an illusion to run to?


After practicing Radical Expectance for a week I found I am NOT one to just let thing happen around me any longer. But it has allowed me to recall a time in my life when I was more go with the flow. These days are not gone for good they are fighting the control freak to come to the surface a little each week. Now I do not think my need to control will ever be gone nor do I want it to disappear but I honestly do miss my laid back self.

I hope each and everyone of you have a little bit of both worlds inside of you. And you let them shine.